either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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