So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
