I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
