so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
