I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
