Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
