your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
