On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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