2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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