Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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