I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
