Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
