there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
