We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
