Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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