that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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