I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
