i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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