when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
