There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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