Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
