was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
