I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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