South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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