I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
