Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
