Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
