Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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