Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
