Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
As shirtless as possible
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
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