Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
