when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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