I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
