The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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