actually, I'm a sock model
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
True college students do jello shots in the library
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
