I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Houston, we have a squirter
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
