I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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