i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
