lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
