very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
