My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
