His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
