dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
