he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
