Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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