Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
