I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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