I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
