I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
