I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
